​DEFINITION: The process of being mentally stimulated to do or feel something, especially to do something creative.

Nothing like a learning moment to inspire me or someone's profound words to inspire me to think about a new idea.

I find feelings of inspiration to be the fuel to live a life of small adventures. It's almost like fuel for one as I need a steady flow of it to help me keep moving forward with something. Sometimes, I feel apathetic when I don't feel inspiration and I often look for words of others to catapult me to take my next step. I also want to serve up a nice yummy dish of healthy inspiration - that is why I'm writing a book! Many people have inspired me with their story and my plan is to share those with you in that book.

We all need, value, and want a reason to get out of bed in the morning and inspiration can be the friend to help make that happen. But how to find it and welcome it into your life?

I suggest you first identify your preferred way of receiving information. It could be reading it, listening to it or watching it. When I have found a particular audiobook exceptionally inspiring I often revisit it in written format so I can also absorb key messages and lessons to look at it more deeply.

The library offers thousands and thousands of such resources and thank goodness we have public libraries! In a few cases, I will also eventually purchase the book because the inspiration I receive from it feels eternal. I most likely reread it in the years to come because it never gets old!


I also look for the ‘teachers’ in my community of friends. Other people's wisdom can help me figure out my own stuff and as often is the case, will inspire me to learn more about a topic. For example while having a conversation with my coach, I learned a bit more about how internalized patriarchy informs so many spaces of ideation for the first time. I mean it wasn't the first time I've heard the term but it was a moment of inspiration to learn about a very powerful paradigm in our culture and to see how it is showing up in my life and in relationships.

I've inspired others. For example several women I know had a spark of interest to pursue international travel and it was through my shared stories on my Instagram account that inspired them to book trips abroad.

Inspiration is such a joyful playmate. It is very much tied to motivation but not necessarily so. It serves as a bit of a precursor to taking action but what a powerful elixir it can be for such next steps.

I also look into reading other women's stories via biographies and autobiographies to inspire me. Inspiration can also come through less lofty pursuits. A girl I know who also loves to travel inspired me to invest in my own comfort via business class on my flight. Fortunately I have the resources to do so and what a loving treat I gave myself for a red eye flight abroad. When I see beautiful art, I am inspired to make my own. 

I believe by inspiring others intentionally we can help create a beautiful world for all because people who are happy and are often more kind.

So how do you welcome this new BFF into your life? Daydream. Yup. Take a few moments to just stop moving, stop worrying, stop problem solving and welcome in the energy of make believe. If that muscle has atrophied, look up some prompts on the internet to prime your imagination pump. I lost my ability to daydream when I was in my 40s. I don't think it was a coincidence that the loss coincided with the onset of perimenopause. I wonder if there's any science to back up my quasi theory? In any event what I learned is you can resuscitate it and what fun it is to be in that pretend world. Please note that this isn't a one off and call it good activity. The magic of daydreaming is an ongoing ingredient of a life fully lived. As you pursue it, you will change and with beautiful change comes new ideas. Imagining who you can be can be so much fun, so get dreaming! 

​DEFINITION: The acquisition of knowledge or skills through experience, study, or being taught.

One of the favorite life activities I just adore is learning. I'm a lifelong learner at my core and when I  rally my energy around self-awareness and curiosity, I inevitably learn something in the process.

And although I am a non-degreed professional who is building an amazing life for herself through self-learning and via the wisdom of others, I take no issue with pursuits of formal education. I will add that a college degree will never eclipse the intrinsic benefits of learning ‘on the fly’ through lived experiences. The core to it all is the willingness to learn.

Whether that is to learn how to play the oboe, speak Spanish, or be a better listener, learning is part of this road trip. Each new nugget of knowledge gained through the lessons learned helps better clarify your driving directions so you are more likely going in your right direction.

I suppose it is a lofty goal to be fully actualized humans, so the journey is what it is all about. To take step by step, even when things are uncertain, igniting your curiosity will hopefully motivate you to learn about an idea that may have never come to mind before that moment.

I think the funnest efforts are the most baffling of things to figure out. This doesn't include assembling Ikea furniture - I know that is NOT in my zone of genius - I'm more of a people person. Learning about how I can be the best version of a human in this world really is my jam. I feel compelled to add this disclaimer: becoming the best version of yourself must never be confused with perfection.

Learning includes making mistakes. We simply do not know everything because it isn't humanly possible to do so. You can have fun with those buggers by coming up with another word for them. Words like lessons, experiments, or whoopsie doodles (this one is one of my favorites).

The opportunities are endless and with it comes endless wonder and discovery. I see the moment of discovery as the spark that leads to learning. Discovery and curiosity are definitely copilots on this road trip called Life.

I admit life lessons of the painful kind are my least favorite but with those circumstances that are inevitable once I have put a little distance between my freak out from the event I often pause to lean into learning something about that circumstance. We grow from these experiences. This kind of learning often helps me keep focused when I am traveling on the proverbial unknown roads of life..

I want to spend more time on the concept of love of learning around exploring it through experiences. Don't you just love it when you discover a podcast with topics that resonate with you because it is exactly what you're seeking to learn? The Beloved Universe is fantastic in that way. I love the saying that the teacher arrives when the student is ready and the frequency of such events like that in my life are too numerous to count. What a moment it is when it happens!

There are all kinds of learning: intellectual, academic, book, and emotional intelligence. I find a nice place to start is to ask yourself why do I want to learn about XYZ? This sets the tone of motivation to take the next steps and figuring out the how of it all.

Wisdom is a magical side of learning. It is with a certain element of compassion, certainly, humbling, too. I believe we become wise through a series of lessons and it takes a lifetime to get to that level of knowledge. I also think wisdom is meant to be shared with others, a time for you to serve in the teacher’s role.

I encourage you, dear reader, to embark on a lifelong learning journey. It will definitely embellish your adventures with precious experiences and create opportunities to connect with others in the quest to never stop learning. It is with our desire to learn that we change our lives and most likely, the lives of others.

You may want to structure some learning time to ensure you make the time. Combine it with open-hearted, open-minded moments as you live your moments. Perhaps at the end of the day, write about the lessons of the day in your gratitude journal because writing things down on paper helps us retain things. There is science around living the event, remembering the event, and reflecting on the event that makes it ten times more powerful.

Learning can provide you with joy and possibly, a new trajectory in living your best life! 

RESOURCE LINKS

• Book: 30 Lessons for the Living
• Podcast: Mel Robbins and Dr. Karl Pillemer
• The Ride | Discovery

DEFINITION: The process of finding information, a place, or an object, especially for the first time.

I love discovering things. It fills my heart with so much joy, especially when I take a chance at doing something I’ve never done before. All of a sudden, there is this unplanned moment of discovery and the experience reveals beauty or knowledge that I can carry throughout my day, even my life in some cases..

Going into something with an open heart and open mind to discover new places, people, or ideas can do a soul some good.

I believe the drab of the same ole same ole creates inertia when it comes to our personal growth and with the introduction of new things, it is like a shot of good energy. Personally, it is through such experiences that has helped me create a beautiful life for myself. It shows up, big time, when I travel, whether in another country or just up the way.

Some years ago, I started day tripping, taking a trip to a destination and returning home on the same day, when I lived in Oregon. Oregon is a big state, mind you, so day trips could only be so far away but what discoveries I made in the process! Later, I included my dear friend, Liam, on these adventures and we set a regular intention when we went out on our journey. We would visit the local library and find a dive bar to have lunch at. The latter, we discovered, would offer opportunities to chat with some of the locals and enjoy the best burger in town! On one such adventure, I won $50 in an instant lottery game that paid for our inexpensive lunch and also provided a hefty tip to the bartender. We also checked out architecture and discovered hidden natural treasures along the way.

Although I no longer live in the Pacific Northwest, I continue my day tripping adventures to this day. Living through the pandemic was a challenge on many levels, but to be able to hop in my car to check out new-to-me outdoor beauty helped keep me healthy in so many ways.

This is what I have learned: the thing about discovery is, there is always a sense of awe. Who doesn't like to feel awestruck?! It's awesome! Pun totally intended there.  I've also taken the time to go inward to discover who I have become and rediscovered long-lost dreams that I am now breathing new life into. I rediscovered my love of performing and now enjoy a part-time career as an actor.

Books, podcasts, and even films can be fodder for discovery. When you invest time in becoming self-aware, those moments will offer up a few signposts to get you started. You can map out a road trip of a proverbial kind to go out into the world to see if these hints are indeed leading you on a path of joyful living.

As we discover more about who we are and how others show up in the world, it can also help us determine our boundaries. For example, I've discovered that when someone doesn't do what they promise to do, I have an emotional response to it which has led me to get a bit more curious about it rather than taking it personally. I discovered that when these things happen, it triggers some childhood hurts around my mom's lack of keeping promises with me. 

I've discovered art on a whole different level, whether in my local community or a spectacular museum in another country. Spending time just looking at art has revealed emotions ranging from tear-filled joy to pangs of grief. As a member of this human race, I want to be more aware of my feelings and I discovered these activities have helped me with processing things.

Another cool thing about being open to Discovery is it is a lifelong experience in learning. I know my worldview has become more expansive in comparison to a decade ago and certainly since childhood. For me, being open-minded is a journey that helps me live a full and enriching life. I suspect it would be for you as well, dear reader.

I like doing the work of excavating forgotten dreams that might make heart-filled sense to bring back to life. I also benefit from discovering how lived experiences continue to shape me, shape all of us.

In the book Walking in This World by Julia Cameron, she takes you on the path of self-discovery through sharing her stories and motivating readers through action steps and exercises, one of which is the Artist Date. This is something you do alone for yourself in order to reclaim your inherent creative self. Perhaps you do not have a life that provides time to head out on a weekly adventure such as this, but frequency isn't core to it. If you can only do so, periodically, by all means do it! Following through on your intention to’ fill the well’ as she calls it is always a noble effort to discover more about who you want to be in this world and what your own boundaries are. There are many other resources out there to help you prime the pump of your intention to build your best life and I am sharing a few of my favorites that might be of use.

I also believe that embarking on a journey of discovery also requires courage. Many of us don't like change and new experiences inherently bring that to anything you do. I like to look at it as experimenting. By reframing it that way, it takes the pressure off for an expected successful outcome.

Discovery is a journey onto itself. As you take the first step, in  many cases, you will likely be presented with a few options for that second, third, and many other steps on your personal journey of self-discovery. And, keep in mind that discoveries of an external sort certainly will inform the internal side of things.  Even if such efforts feel like so-called failures, you have learned something that can propel you to the next step in your exploration. .

I believe that once you lean into becoming aware of things you can then take the courageous first step to discover more about it. Also remind yourself to be compassionate with yourself if it turns out to be a big old nothing. Keep in mind that those darn limiting beliefs we carry around with us might prevent you from ever taking the first step but by leaning into them, you can open up a whole new world for yourself. 

Let the discovery antics begin!


RESOURCE LINKS

• Daytripping with Denny K
• Walking in this World
• The Ride | Limiting Beliefs

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DEFINITION: The feeling that arises when you are confronted with another’s suffering and feel motivated to relieve that suffering.

Ah, compassion. This is a challenging one because it is often buried, long forgotten, and under layers of stressful living.

When I think about this topic in the context of self-reflection, I am focusing on self-compassion which is not self-pity - no ‘woe is me’ for this broad!

As an overachieving, ambitious gal with, what I believe to be undiagnosed ADHD, I label myself as a multi-passionate creative, I drop a few balls and miss a few turns along the way and when I do, I can be my own worst enemy. I sometimes berate myself for messing up, not following through, breaking a promise, etc. But here's the thing, Dear Reader, we are human beings and one of our main jobs on this earthly adventure is to learn lesson after freaking lesson. This helps us grow.

Hey,  I don't like messing up and I suspect you will join me in that feeling, but it really is through our mess-ups we are given the biggest of life gifts. For example, I've messed up as a parent. I suspect way more often than I can count but what I have learned later in life is by first forgiving myself of all those missteps and then apologizing to my daughter. With practicing self-compassion, I often receive external compassion from her when I do make those apologies. Oh, the feelings! A true companion to compassion is forgiveness. I believe that you require it as the first step in the compassion journey.

Not too long ago, I started evaluating my ability to show compassion for others' pain and missteps. Admittedly, it has been a challenge as I navigate real feelings of judgment rooted in some painful spots inside of me. As I start with my own dang self, forgiving my own major mess ups, I have discovered that I now have more space in my heart to show grace for other people’s mistakes, whether as I perceive them or if they are indeed mistakes on their part.

It's funny how that happens. not in a laughy way but kind of an ironic way. I feel like the analogy of putting the oxygen mask on your face first is a good one that ties into this Insight that I'm sharing with you. As we start with our own darn selves, we build skills to do it for others and it makes total sense as I think more about it.

I recall a friend who borrowed someone's car and instead of putting diesel fuel in the tank, put unleaded fuel in the vehicle. In case you were not aware, that does not work out so well for the car. My friend was publicly embarrassed by the owner by causing damage to the vehicle. Because the exchange happened in a public space, I and others couldn't help but hear and feel the pain in the exchange. I simply put a hand on my friend's shoulder as I passed by in an act of compassion for his circumstances. The look on his face and in his eyes as I did it has forever stayed with me. It was though we both carried the pain in that moment, together, in that instance. I may very well have relieved him of the weight of shame on his heart. My friend never forgot it when years later he shared the same memory with me. Compassion does that. It stays with you for a lifetime.

Sometimes, leaning into inviting compassion can be a difficult task but it is also a step towards healing. When I feel unseen, that is a major trigger for me. My main go-to is anger and dismissal of the so-called offender from my life but time and time again, I am reminded of how much I do not know about the circumstances to warrant such a foolish cancellation. These days, I take a more compassionate approach by first using the RAIN approach that I mentioned in a previous chapter. I am also exploring a concept that I just learned about: counter responses. This approach is to look at other possible options in a situation instead of joining to the worst conclusion. This disrupts my usual process of jumping to immediate conclusions as a pessimist by simply asking and then telling myself, “You do not have the full story, Dennise. What else might be a possibility?.” This reads way easier on the page than in practice, but practice it must take. It can be a game changer!

I don't kid myself into thinking I can be compassionate about traumatic experiences but baby steps are helping me. I added this topic to the book because self-compassion will be key on your road trip to living your best life. You will make the wrong turn and you will pick the wrong destination at times, and this is a-okay, Dear Reader. It is a necessary part of the journey. It will be through those boo-boos that you will learn what not to do which means you are getting closer to what you want to do.

This journey will also bring up some memories of bad choices. This is not something that can be a redo, I'm afraid, but you can forgive and release it. So simple but not so easy. Since I love me a good ritual, I will use such things as a year-end cleansing ritual of writing it on a page and then tossing it in a fire. I also use my daily morning pages that I mentioned in an earlier chapter to help acknowledge and release it as well. Once I see it, I can feel it, learn from it, and then let it go.

Please also keep in mind that with any practice, repeating it over and over again is necessary because you are creating a new habit. One great resource for this is the book Atomic Habits by James Clear. As you move along, I encourage you to create your own mantra to remind you to feel compassion for your inevitable mistakes you will be making. Sometimes certain mistakes can remind you of your favorite times and often can be excellent fodder for storytelling, yet another way I process experiences.
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You may also want to recruit a near and dear trustworthy person in your life to help you practice building your compassion muscle. I believe our world could benefit from a global movement to reclaim compassion for ourselves and each other. Imagine the freedom all of us could experience when released from the burden of shame and loss of long ago. What a world it would be.
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RESOURCE LINKS
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Book - Atomic Habits by James Clear