Many years ago, I hit a wall. A major brick wall as I entered my so-called Second Act. I concur with a definition by GirlTalkHQ as ‘a major shift in the story of our lives.’ I will add that this often comes up in the later years of one's life. I had become a ‘woman of a certain age’ and with it, began my slow disappearance in the eyes of the world. That's what it felt like and when you toss in the onset of menopause, you can imagine the hot mess I found myself swimming in!
It was in 2014 that life as I knew it as a viable, visible, acknowledged contributor to society was slowly fading away. Again, that's how I felt at the time and my feelings were not totally based on imagined reality since gender ageism is real and it is insidious. I also note that some of my experiences as an older woman who was losing credibility were also seen through my own gauze of hormonal shifts due to the onset of perimenopause.
Having shared these experiences, The Ride will not be a book about mistreatment or the airing of my complaints. Instead, these stories insights serve as part of my personal ‘road trip’ figuring out some important things for myself. It is my intention to empower you, Dear Reader, to lean into the plethora of opportunities that show up when the world isn't paying any attention to you any longer.
It is time to use your voice.
It is time to take up space.
It is time for you to reclaim your personal power.
When I reflect back on my own pivotal moments, I think about how I gave my power and dreams away at any given chance to help solidify my place in the world, whether it was for a friend, a partner, or co-worker. The compromises were incessant until the veil lifted during the most challenging moments in my life.
As I think about those long ago days when I felt frightened, so alone and forgotten, I know that all of that crap was actually fertilizer to help grow a life beyond my wildest dreams. But I had to know what my dreams were as I lost my connection to them.
As the expression goes, ‘the teacher arrives when the student is ready' is a phrase that became commonplace for me over the many years of my journey and it all started in 2014.
I had lost my job and could not get hired to save my life. I held years of experience in my chosen profession in the nonprofit sector. It was a profession I was very good at. As I submitted hundreds of résumés which landed a few interviews, it always came down to me or one other candidate - a 20 something person with little experience or a man. It was always given to one of them. Years later, I would learn about some of those hires as very costly failures on the part of the leadership but it was water under the bridge and out of my control. I admit that I carried resentment for many years and when I would learn of these poor hires, I felt some degree of validation.
Speaking of which, I was very fortunate for a whiff of initial inspiration, and motivation, to not allow this to destroy me. I was living in a house that I had purchased all on my own and I didn't want to lose it for many reasons, so my motivation was clear. Now, what could I set into motion to kick it into gear?
I learned about a church-sponsored weekly community outreach project that was a godsend - pardon the pun! I am not a church gal in a religious sense but I am forever grateful for that community's generous support of all who attended the Monday morning meeting. The program also included mentor opportunities to help support each of us with our job search strategy.
It was also during this time I discovered The Success Principles, a tome of practical and powerful wisdom assembled by Jack Canfield. The book became a foundation that held me up and helped me move forward with rebuilding a life that had forever changed. It was also during this time I met a collaborator, Shari. She was also attending this weekly session and we became each other's life preservers as we were each tossed about in the sea of uncertainty.
After each weekly meeting we would continue our work, together, over lunch and using The Success Principles as our guide. Some of those tools and habits I still use today.
This introduced me to personal development and I was hooked! I started reading more and more books and assembling notes of key takeaways that I would, in turn, implement. The experience of this self-led learning changed my life.
For the past decade at the time of writing this introduction, I have read hundreds of books that help me reclaim my power one lesson at a time. These resources served as fodder to create my personal map to living the best life possible and I want to share this framework with you, the lessons learned, to inspire you to enjoy your own ride of building a big life one small adventure at a time.
We are all unique as are each of our lived experiences, so I will not pretend that a one size fits all. What I will share are 12 foundational signs or guideposts to help you really lean into reconnecting with yourself so you can reclaim your dreams long buried under other’s expectations, society's demands, and your own forgetfulness of what meant so much to you. The true you that has been long silenced as being too much.
The Ride is divided into two parts, looking inside yourself to reconnect with who you are and then taking that to the outside, into the world, to explore and create a magnificent life based on your choices. It will be about putting on your big girl pants and taking some chances that will inevitably also include heartbreak and failure. There is no sugar coating this: life is an epic adventure and it is my intention to be your co-pilot on the ride of your life!
Each chapter, we will look at a topic and define it for a common understanding. Then we will take a peek under my hood with some insights I have come up with based on personal experience. I will also share other women's stories with their permission, of course, that align with the chapter’s focus. And because I am a huge fan of lifelong learning, I will share a few resources ranging from books to podcasts to whatever aligns that could be helpful, so you can take a deeper look at it to help you reclaim your own view of it. Since nothing becomes usable until you actually use this knowledge, I will offer you three action-oriented ideas on how to lean into the topic even more.
The goal and intention of this book is not to fix your life. It is to reinspire you to have fun, to learn, to experience the best that your life can offer you. It will help you be too whatever for the world so you can reclaim your space. By the time you finish reading it, you will have the start of a very profound tool, the beginnings of a road map to get you off your butt and live a big life one small adventure at a time.
In the meantime, below you will find On Ramps - these are the chapters that will be looking at the following topics:
BACKLINKS
https://www.girltalkhq.com/writing-your-second-act-in-life-where-reinvention-meets-intention/
https://www.catalyst.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/10/Trend-Brief_Gendered-Ageism_PDF.pdf
https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/perimenopause/symptoms-causes/syc-20354666
https://www.amazon.com/Success-Principles-How-Where-Want/dp/0060594888
https://jackcanfield.com/
It was in 2014 that life as I knew it as a viable, visible, acknowledged contributor to society was slowly fading away. Again, that's how I felt at the time and my feelings were not totally based on imagined reality since gender ageism is real and it is insidious. I also note that some of my experiences as an older woman who was losing credibility were also seen through my own gauze of hormonal shifts due to the onset of perimenopause.
Having shared these experiences, The Ride will not be a book about mistreatment or the airing of my complaints. Instead, these stories insights serve as part of my personal ‘road trip’ figuring out some important things for myself. It is my intention to empower you, Dear Reader, to lean into the plethora of opportunities that show up when the world isn't paying any attention to you any longer.
It is time to use your voice.
It is time to take up space.
It is time for you to reclaim your personal power.
When I reflect back on my own pivotal moments, I think about how I gave my power and dreams away at any given chance to help solidify my place in the world, whether it was for a friend, a partner, or co-worker. The compromises were incessant until the veil lifted during the most challenging moments in my life.
As I think about those long ago days when I felt frightened, so alone and forgotten, I know that all of that crap was actually fertilizer to help grow a life beyond my wildest dreams. But I had to know what my dreams were as I lost my connection to them.
As the expression goes, ‘the teacher arrives when the student is ready' is a phrase that became commonplace for me over the many years of my journey and it all started in 2014.
I had lost my job and could not get hired to save my life. I held years of experience in my chosen profession in the nonprofit sector. It was a profession I was very good at. As I submitted hundreds of résumés which landed a few interviews, it always came down to me or one other candidate - a 20 something person with little experience or a man. It was always given to one of them. Years later, I would learn about some of those hires as very costly failures on the part of the leadership but it was water under the bridge and out of my control. I admit that I carried resentment for many years and when I would learn of these poor hires, I felt some degree of validation.
Speaking of which, I was very fortunate for a whiff of initial inspiration, and motivation, to not allow this to destroy me. I was living in a house that I had purchased all on my own and I didn't want to lose it for many reasons, so my motivation was clear. Now, what could I set into motion to kick it into gear?
I learned about a church-sponsored weekly community outreach project that was a godsend - pardon the pun! I am not a church gal in a religious sense but I am forever grateful for that community's generous support of all who attended the Monday morning meeting. The program also included mentor opportunities to help support each of us with our job search strategy.
It was also during this time I discovered The Success Principles, a tome of practical and powerful wisdom assembled by Jack Canfield. The book became a foundation that held me up and helped me move forward with rebuilding a life that had forever changed. It was also during this time I met a collaborator, Shari. She was also attending this weekly session and we became each other's life preservers as we were each tossed about in the sea of uncertainty.
After each weekly meeting we would continue our work, together, over lunch and using The Success Principles as our guide. Some of those tools and habits I still use today.
This introduced me to personal development and I was hooked! I started reading more and more books and assembling notes of key takeaways that I would, in turn, implement. The experience of this self-led learning changed my life.
For the past decade at the time of writing this introduction, I have read hundreds of books that help me reclaim my power one lesson at a time. These resources served as fodder to create my personal map to living the best life possible and I want to share this framework with you, the lessons learned, to inspire you to enjoy your own ride of building a big life one small adventure at a time.
We are all unique as are each of our lived experiences, so I will not pretend that a one size fits all. What I will share are 12 foundational signs or guideposts to help you really lean into reconnecting with yourself so you can reclaim your dreams long buried under other’s expectations, society's demands, and your own forgetfulness of what meant so much to you. The true you that has been long silenced as being too much.
The Ride is divided into two parts, looking inside yourself to reconnect with who you are and then taking that to the outside, into the world, to explore and create a magnificent life based on your choices. It will be about putting on your big girl pants and taking some chances that will inevitably also include heartbreak and failure. There is no sugar coating this: life is an epic adventure and it is my intention to be your co-pilot on the ride of your life!
Each chapter, we will look at a topic and define it for a common understanding. Then we will take a peek under my hood with some insights I have come up with based on personal experience. I will also share other women's stories with their permission, of course, that align with the chapter’s focus. And because I am a huge fan of lifelong learning, I will share a few resources ranging from books to podcasts to whatever aligns that could be helpful, so you can take a deeper look at it to help you reclaim your own view of it. Since nothing becomes usable until you actually use this knowledge, I will offer you three action-oriented ideas on how to lean into the topic even more.
The goal and intention of this book is not to fix your life. It is to reinspire you to have fun, to learn, to experience the best that your life can offer you. It will help you be too whatever for the world so you can reclaim your space. By the time you finish reading it, you will have the start of a very profound tool, the beginnings of a road map to get you off your butt and live a big life one small adventure at a time.
In the meantime, below you will find On Ramps - these are the chapters that will be looking at the following topics:
BACKLINKS
https://www.girltalkhq.com/writing-your-second-act-in-life-where-reinvention-meets-intention/
https://www.catalyst.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/10/Trend-Brief_Gendered-Ageism_PDF.pdf
https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/perimenopause/symptoms-causes/syc-20354666
https://www.amazon.com/Success-Principles-How-Where-Want/dp/0060594888
https://jackcanfield.com/
ON RAMPS
